-
The Tapeworm Gallery: Shame on You
I see you had a blast with your family last weekend. Here’s something you didn’t count on unwrapping this Happy Holidays Season: your shame-based identity. You know…that assurance that lingers beneath the surface of your thoughts? I meant to ask…how’s that constant state of self-criticism going? Not like you don’t get enough of it from your boss. It helped that your parents used humiliation tactics to discipline you and your siblings. Mother does know best—you can’t do anything right. You always were insignificant. No wonder kids teased you in grade school, and why they always chose you last in P.E. My…
-
The Tapeworm Gallery: Freedom
I see you signed up for another round of Celebrate Recovery at the church two towns over. Still angry and bruised, ha? I knew it. I think you should do CR again. It worked wonders the first time—especially for that anxiety and depression. So go ahead and rehash all your resentments, guilt, shame, anger and fear that stem from your wholesome childhood. Because I enjoy watching you run in circles. I meant to ask, how’s your narcissistic mother doing? Tell her hello for me. And that I said, “Thanks,” for leaving you emotionally emaciated. I get why you don’t feel like praying. Talking…
-
Orlando’s Bizarre Coincidence?
My phone dinged Sunday morning, June 12, with Facebook’s notification that three of my friends were safe in regard to the Orlando shooting. I had no idea what that meant, but fortunately social media makes it easy to find out what’s happening in the world within seconds. My heart sank when I learned of the largest mass shooting in American history at a gay nightclub, with 49 dead and 53 injured. I couldn’t even begin to wrap my mind around the pain and horror inflicted on the victims and their families and friends. Then I learned about the very different kind of pain and horror that also happened in Orlando…
-
How Does Your Garden Grow?
-
The Tapeworm Gallery: Tall Tales
I see you putting the last touches on your Sunday school lesson on Genesis 2 and 3. Lots to cover in one hour. But you can do it. Glancing over your notes, I ought to point out a few technicalities. Hope you don't mind. God made everything. He declared everything he made as good. And he made Adam and Eve—very good. That lasted. But remember that infamous tree? He and your type have fussed over it for centuries. Anyhoo…interesting that he planted it smack in the middle of the garden. That thing was as hidden as a stripper pole dancing during…
-
Who’s behind the sheer curtain?
I pray a lot but sometimes I wonder if my prayers bounce off the ceiling. Does God really hear? Does He really care? Do you ever feel that way? The first weekend of this month I was looking forward to speaking in Dubuque, Iowa, by way of Cedar Rapids, at the Emmaus Bible College women's conference. But I wasn't looking forward to getting there. Earlier this year on a similar occasion, my flight to that area of the country was suddenly and without explanation cancelled, leaving me to hopscotch around several airports, running from gate to gate, and arriving several hours after my first speaking session. I dreaded a replay…
-
The Tapeworm Gallery: Hide and Don’t Seek
So Pastor Mike asked you to oversee Women's Ministry… Call 911. I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe… Interesting that you accepted…But I guess after Liz moved back to Virginia, someone had to step up in your small church. Did you notice Crabatha's look when you made the announcement at dinner last night? Or maybe she just had indigestion from her under-ripe, out-of-season Watermelon Onion Salad. But hey…you surpass most women in piety and holiness. Or at least your generous publicized donations to the crisis pregnancy center, and fluency in Christianese make others think so. I don't know why you bother going…
-
The Tapeworm Gallery: Candy-Coated Catnap
October 29. Just hearing someone utter "pumpkin" gets you giddy like a high school cheerleader. But not this year… Despite what Pastor Mike says, Grace and Christian should attend the Monsters' Ball. They will make a fine vampire-ballerina and zombie-policeman for this innocuous school dance. Besides, they haven't dressed up since grade school. People need to relax with the whole "Halloween is evil" bit. Since when is fun a bad thing? Since half-baked, fanatic, church weirdos said so? Just don't let their Halloween pictures land on Facebook. You don't need Pastor Mike's wife getting into your business . . . again. Speaking of meddling . . . your dread pirate mother-in-law,…
-
I’ve Got a War Room–Now What Do I Do?
Millions of people have seen the summer blockbuster movie War Room, many of them challenged to be more intentional about prayer. Some have even cleaned out a closet or a corner to make their own War Room. But the movie, for all its motivation to experience the power of prayer, did not provide instructions on what and how to pray. Other than eating potato chips in secret! Prayer is not about sacred words or flowery religious language. Biblical prayer is about talking to God, heart to heart. Here are some suggestions for what to do in the War Room. Many people have found it helpful to follow the structure of…
-
Discover Prayer (Part VIII): Power Dressing for Prayer!
Power dressing refers to wearing a style of clothing intended to make the wearers seem authoritative and competent. This is also known as dressing for success or dressing for “prayer” success! This concept was used as an object lesson by the Apostle Paul while he was in prison in Rome for teaching on prayer (Ephesians 3:1;4:1;6:20). He used a Roman soldier’s armor (1) to help us understand the important aspects of prayer that must be “put on” (i.e., utilized) for maximum power and effectiveness of prayer (Ephesians 6:10-18).
