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Hearing Well and Being Heard Well
Everyone wants to be heard well, but are we as willing to hear others well? In order to understand ourselves and others, different ways to categorize people have emerged over the years such as Myers & Briggs, DISC, and Enneagram. I recently read about another way to categorize people in a book dealing with how we communicate, 5 Voices: How to Communicate Effectively with Everyone You Lead.[1] The book describes 5 different voices with which people communicate—the Pioneer, Creative, Connector, Guardian, and Nurturer. Each voice (think communication style when I use the word voice) has positive inclinations and negative tendencies. In analyzing the book through a biblical worldview, I discovered…
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Our Applause for Good Deeds and Behavior–Who Does It Go To?
Who are we honoring when we see good deeds and behavior? I think how we answer this question determines if we fall into the trap of envy or not. “The Seven Deadly Sins” is a list of categories of predominate sins that were identified formally around the fourth century. Envy, greed, lust, sloth, gluttony, pride, and anger are the seven that made the final list. In exploring these categories, I was confronted with one way that envy can be manifested—“Envy begrudges someone their status, material possessions or the relationships and good will that they have earned from others in the community.”[1]“Yuck!” I thought, “I subconsciously do that!” Verses like 1…
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Authentic Relationships: Being Devoted to Another and Honoring Another Above Ourselves
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde
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Top Five Ways Unbroken will Enrich Your life–the movie and (even more) the book
For all Lauren Hillenbrand’s in-depth research and narrative craft and Angelina Jolie’s movie-making chops, only God could create the story of Unbroken on the canvas of Louie Zamparini’s life. Our little family did our part to make it #2 at the box office this past weekend (second only to the final Hobbit movie), but I first heard of the book four years ago when my friend Rosie, who reads stacks of books and rewards only the best, grabbed me by the shoulders; looked me in the eyes and said, “You have got to read Unbroken.” This was now the fourth friend endorsement (and definitely the most physical)…
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The Commencement Address I’ll Never Get to Give
Graduations mean commencement addresses. Most of which are eminently forgettable, containing feel-good charges to go do great stuff and change the world. But in my experience, they’re always given by men, who are some kind of celebrity. I am neither. But I have a few thoughts on practical life lessons that newly-minted graduates might use. “Hey graduates, congratulations. You made it to the cap-and-gown stage. Not without a lot of help and prodding and prayers and frustration from your parents though, right? Thank them. There’s not a single thing you are or do or have that they didn’t have a part in. Thank them again. “Speaking of thanking, one of…
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Is Peter Insulting Women? Part 2
Go here for part I. In the apostle Peter’s first epistle he writes some words that can trip up the twenty-first-century reader. Both his instruction to wives and to husbands can make us say, “Whoa! What?” After telling wives to have gentle, quiet spirits, Peter adds an example: “Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear (1 Pet. 3:1–6). He goes on to tell the husbands to live with their wives “according to knowledge” because—and here’s the kicker—she is the “weaker vessel” (v. 7). Are today’s wives to call their husbands “master”? Are women…
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Honor Thy (Very Flawed) Father and Mother
Someone asked me about how to resolve the biblical command to “Honor thy father and mother” (Ex. 20:12) with the fact that these people may have had huge and damaging flaws. I suggested googling the phrase “honoring your parents” for some insight. Below are some links I found helpful. But as I told her, one aspect of honoring flawed parents is to understand that the best (or even only) way you might be able to honor them is from a distance, emotionally and physically. You can give yourself permission to do that. To give them honor means showing (not necessarily feeling) respect, letting them know you are listening and considering…
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God of Small Things
We equate smallness with insignificance. So we celebrate birthdays but not ordinary days. We introduce ourselves to the CEO instead of our new officemate. We applaud graduation speeches and poetic sermons yet hush the little girl sitting next to us. In so doing we make a value statement about what matters in life: bigness, brilliance, and uniqueness. But what if the moments that mattered most were the quiet ones? What if the people of greatest significance were those without nameplates or titles? What if the most impactful words we ever heard were uttered in whispers and high pitches? Flip through the pages of scripture and you’ll find simplicity celebrated and…
