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Paul and His Subversive Passage on the Family
In the first half of the Book of Ephesians, the apostle Paul lays out the Christian’s new identity in Christ. In the second half, he provides the “so what,” or the ramifications. As he outlines what Spirit-filled living looks like (Eph. 5:18ff), he envisions a community in which people show Christ’s love by serving one another. And one of the places where such service happens is in the household—where in his day he would have found spouses, kids, and slaves under one roof. People living in the first century under Roman rule would have been familiar with instructions for respectable families known as “household codes.” These codes outlined the ideal…
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Why Celebrate Valentine’s Day?
According to the market research firm IBIS World, Valentine’s Day sales reached $17.6 billion last year, 2014, and this year’s sales are expected to exceed that figure. February 14 has catapulted into a lucrative opportunity for the sales community. Tangled up in the legends and history of this holiday is a remarkable story. The legend: Saint Valentine was a Roman Priest at the time of the rule of Emperor Claudius- a persecutor of the church. Valentine lived and ministered against the backdrop of a very permissive society where there were no boundaries or strict codes morally. Polygamy would have been more popular than one man and one woman in a…
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The Time I Served My Husband and Actually Liked It
I did the impossible and actually cooked a meal I had pinned on Pinterest- Carne Guisado (Tejano stewed beef). Cooking is not an out of ordinary task for me in the House of Jacobs; its a regular part of how I contribute to my family. So when dinner time comes around my husband (Matt) and I fall into our respective roles almost without thinking. While he gets the kids in their chairs and washes their hands, I portion out their food and let it cool. Often, I prepare my husband's plate and bring it to him. This particular dinner though, I was nervous to present him with the meal as…
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All the Single Ladies
Two single friends recently attended a teaching about an independent study of biblical femininity. Most of what they heard was fine, but the presenter was apparently so enthused about God’s design for the female body that she elevated the roles of wife and mother beyond what was appropriate. My single friends, one of whom is old enough that she will probably never marry and will definitely never have children, were shocked and angered. The over-enthusiasm for marriage and family meant that as single women, they both felt the shame of being “lesser-than.” I knew what they were experiencing. For many years, much of the teaching in the church has (unintentionally,…
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Biblical Womanhood, Part 2
Several weeks ago, I wrote about biblical womanhood. Afterward a theologian posed some good questions for clarification. So I’m using that conversation as a Q/A here to help further explain what it means to be a woman as God designed her. His statements are bold; my explanations follow: You say of woman that, “She is an image-bearer,” but then argue that because “she” is an image-bearer the female bears that image completely in and of herself. The underlying assumption is that an individual human being, whether male or female, carries the whole divine image. Woman is indeed an image bearer, completely in and of herself. But that does not mean…
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The List
Fourteen years. In just a few days my husband and I will bask in springtime Pacific desert beauty as we celebrate our wedding anniversary. And on such an occasion as this, I remember “The List.” For if not for “The List,” our marriage could have ended in a legal battle over who gets to keep the Moroccan mosaic glass light fixtures. Over a decade ago, I read every book I could find on marriage. I would like to say I’ve got the whole wife thing down. I do OK on most days—all glory to “The List.” Allow me to rewind. I consider…
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Silver Boxes with Bows on Top
The 18th Century preacher, John Wesley, dressed sharp in his day. One Sunday morning he wore a bow tie with long ribbons that hung down. After his sermon, a lady approached him and asked if he was open to some criticism. He said, “I guess so.” She said, "The ribbons on your tie are too long and inappropriate for a man of God." And she took out her scissors and cut them. A hush fell over the crowd. Then Wesley asked to borrow the scissors. As she handed him the scissors, he asked, "Ma’am, are you open to some criticism?" She answered, "Well, I suppose.” He said, "Good. Now stick…
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Singleness, Sex, and Cold Showers
“Boys will be boys.” “It’s not healthy to suppress those sexual urges.” “You can’t expect a person to go without it for too long.” “If she (or he) doesn’t ‘put out,’ I’ll just look elsewhere.” We’ve all heard, or been told, one of these lines. Sexual purity and fidelity seem to be values of the past. Just read the most recent headlines associated with the #MeToo (#YoTambien) movement, and you will quickly learn of yet another actor, CEO, judge, pastor, president, reporter, or news broadcaster who has fallen from grace because of his or her history of promiscuity and/or sexual harassment. Where are our role models? How can we…
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Photoshopping Life
When Ray and I visited the Galapagos Islands, one of my favorite pictures was the two of us with a gigantic tortoise. Unfortunately, my big ol’ red purse was on the ground in the picture too. So I photoshopped it out. At our son’s wedding, one of the ushers wasn’t wearing his boutonniere when it was time for the formal pictures. “Not to worry,” the photographer said. “We can photoshop it in later.” During my daughter-in-law’s holiday family picture taking, someone suggested photoshopping in a beloved uncle, since they were missing him. “No! He’s been dead for two years!,” someone else responded. “You don’t photoshop in a dead person who…
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Two Reasons We’re Celebrating Forty Years Together
We were young and deeply in love. Making big promises we had no idea what it would take to keep. Maybe that is part of God's grace. We don't know what we don't know. But before long we began to get an idea. Jack and I share so much. We are both strong personalities. ("This will not be a boring marriage," said our pre-marriage counselor-pastor.) We are both thinkers. I love discussing books, movies and ideas, talking theology and politics with him. We both enjoy travel adventures together, and back when I could ski we delighted in riding the lifts and swooshing down the mountains together. But in…
