-
How mentoring can save your child from walking away from the faith
One of my greatest fears as a parent was that our children would turn their backs on Jesus when they left our home. A mocking faith-buster professor or sexy siren would steal their hearts and draw them away from their roots. It's a legitimate fear in our post-Christian culture. A 2013 study entitled Five Reasons Millennials Stay Connected to Church found that 6 in 10 young people who grow up in church drop out in the first decade of adult life–but there's hope. They also found that these stats held true UNLESS the young person enjoyed a close personal friendship with a mentor. God often uses mentoring to keep kids…
You May Also Like
April Fool’s Day
On Elisabeth Elliot and the Hidden Realities of our Mentors
I Spy
-
Lessons on mentoring (and other rebukes) from “The Voice”
I've never been a fan of reality TV, but after a close friend confided that The Voice was her favorite show, we decided to tune in and give it a one-time try. Shortly we were hooked. And now I'm learning valuable lessons about mentoring from an unexpected source. As a Christian who just co-authored a book on a new model of mentoring, Organic Mentoring, I was shocked that superstars Adam, Pharrell, Christina, and Blake illustrate many of the principles we promote. WOW! My categories are rattled! First, I love the concept of coaching built into the show. I love watching the way the coaches encourage and exhort the contestants.…
-
Why curriculums often shut down mentoring
In her eye-opening book Shaping the Journey of Emerging Adults: Life-Giving Rhythms for Spiritual Transformation, co-author Jana Sundene describes her first attempt at mentoring. “I was guilty of approaching her with an agenda—one that really didn’t have much to do with her—rather than exploring her questions. . .. I was also serving a method. The discipleship book that was placed in my hands became the way to serve her. . .. it hung between us like a film that I could barely see her through, and our discussions fell flat.” Like Jana, the goal for many older mentors is to teach a Bible study or spiritual curriculum. We love…
-
A mentoring disconnect illustrated
Our society is in the throes of a cultural shift of immense proportions. Stanley J. Grenz Things are no longer merely in the process of change; things, my friends, have changed. And by things, we mean everything.” Craig Detweiler and Barry Taylor For my generation older mentor-type women may be kind of outdated because this is a new generation, a new world, and we do things our way.” Hollie, age 27 “I really don’t know about this next generation,” a frustrated older woman confided. Anxious for a sympathetic ear, Carolyn recounted her recent experience as co-hostess of a baby shower with several millennial women. A veteran shower hostess, Carolyn suggested…
-
Let God be your mentoring match-maker
One of the most frequently asked questions I get from women concerns mentoring. Young women crave a more experienced woman to walk with them through life and help them grow up as all-in Christ followers. But when older women set up mentoring "programs" that artificially match women, young women often describe these programs as "scary". What might work better than a tightly orchestrated mentoring "program"? Instead of leaders trying to micro-manage other people's mentoring relationships, why don't we all try to create a mentoring culture where women connect naturally. Why don't we all learn the ins and outs of mentoring today. What worked in 1990 won't work in 2015. In…
-
Was the woman at the well a “bad girl?”
For four decades I've believed, and even taught, that the Samaritan woman in John 4 was an immoral degenerate woman. Why? Because Jesus reveals her history with men in John 4:18. She has had five husbands and she is not married to the man she is with now. In our day, women with that kind of past would certainly be considered morally loose, until Jesus cleanses them. But as women scholars discover more about the social norms of first century marriage, I wonder if we have judged her prematurely? I used to teach that she drew water alone from the well at noon because she was a social outcast.…
-
Was Mary ever labeled a “bad girl”? and why it matters
It's Christmas–which means male pastors typically preach on Jesus' miraculous birth. Hallelujah! I'm grateful for marvelous messages that keep us focused on the real meaning of Christmas. But through the years most of the Christmas sermons I've heard suggest that Mary endured the label of bad girl later in life. I'm not so sure. I love and respect these pastors, but I wonder if they have missed an important part of the Christmas story that matters a lot to women, and that women might have insight into the issue that the male mind might not consider important. I'd love to know what you think. The story begins as Gabriel…
-
Encourage mentees while bursting the self esteem bubble
The blockbuster television show and singing competition American Idol interviewed one of the female contestants that managed to secure a coveted place as a top twelve finalist. “It’s really true,” the seventeen-year-old contestant bubbled, “You really can be anything you want to be if you believe in yourself and want it badly enough.” Never mind that thousands of contestants were turned away from the show even though they believed in themselves and wanted it badly. The ubiquitous promise rang hollow for them as they watched their dreams crash. Many young women find that roadblocks or limitations of one sort or another prevent them from achieving their optimistic goals. Many are…
-
How to sabotage mentoring by being a “good role model”
When I say I struggled to get up this week, struggled to open my Bible, I want her to say, “You know what, sometimes I do too.” I don’t want a perfect woman who always says, “Well, you should have done this.” I want someone completely transparent who can say, “I didn’t either—life is messed up, I didn’t either.” Tara, age 24 To successfully mentor the next generation, a mentor must take off her "good role model" mask and admit her failures–not just "generally"(Yes, I messed up in the past)–but specifically. We are not talking about full disclosure with all your dirty laundry hanging out. We’re talking about humility…
-
Six lessons we learned in our hurricane Odile Ordeal
God was with our kids in the hurricane, exemplified by an open Bible left untouched on a nightstand in one of the 5th floor suites of their hotel. Literally everything in the room was overturned and destroyed by the storm, yet they found this Bible intact, open to the Gospel of John, chapters 13 and 14. Our God spoke in mighty ways that week! For four days we did not know if our daughter Heather and son-in-law Tom were safe. Praise God, last week a Delta humanitarian flight brought them out of Mexico after a terrifying yet faith-building experience. I've asked my daughter Heather to share what she learned.…
