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Grieving With Hope
We grieve many things in this life. Death being chief among them. In a constantly changing world we must learn to grieve well As teachers and parents, we need to prepare young children for the losses of this life: friendships, broken toys, houses that we move from, teachers that change yearly but especially the loss that comes through death.
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Feelings: A Lousy Idol
It’s so easy to look down our 21st-century noses at the “primitive” peoples of biblical times, especially Israel’s problems with idolatry in the Old Testament. “WE don’t bow down before idols and false gods,” we think. “That was when people were less evolved intellectually and spiritually, but we modern people are so much better than that.” I’m wondering if God agrees. I don’t think so. I think that idolatry is at least as rampant in our society, but it’s more pervasive because it’s so subtle; the idols we worship aren’t physical, tangible items. We could create a long list of the abstractions we worship, but today I just want to…
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Warm and Fuzzy Feelings do not Equal Faith
There I was walking that long path to the university yet again. I knew every crack in the side walk. I knew where the weeds had finally broken free and where the deep puddles would collect after a hard rain. I could gauge how late I was to class based on the faces I met scrambling along the way. Guys and gals who drank way too much the night before drug their inanimate bodies to their 7:45 classes. The skaters, which was still a thing then, weaved in and out of the crowd, I had to fake left and fake right to escape them. Every day I would walk that…
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GOOD GRIEF: Seven Steps to Embracing Emotions- #5 Believing that Feelings are a gift from God
Step five is best understood when preceded with a little recap of the first four steps. First, we must be honest about what we feel. Don’t pretend that giving up something is easy. It isn’t. Humans want to hold on, be in control, and even determine our own destiny. Validate their feelings. Ask them why they think they are having those feelings. Share with them when you’ve had similar feelings. Remind them that feelings are from God to help us make wise and good decisions. Second, we must normalize feelings. Loss is a part of our lives. We lose track of time. We lose lots of stuff: everything from…
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GOOD GRIEF: Seven Steps to Embracing Emotions- #2 Normalize the Feelings
After the death of his wife, C. S. Lewis wrote in A Grief Observed, “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” If an adult is so surprised by the feelings that accompany loss how much greater is that intensified for our children? Children who face loss without explanation will reject the feelings. They will bury them under other feelings or stuff them down through unhealthy actions. The next time loss comes they’ll fear the feelings while reinforcing the wrong responses never learning to truly grieve loss. Loss is a part of our lives. We lose track of time. We lose lots of stuff: everything from…
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GOOD GRIEF: Seven Steps to Embracing Emotions- #1 Be Honest!
Grieving the big losses in life: death of loved ones, loss of health, homes destroyed by catastrophes, marriages ending in divorce, jobs ending, and other great losses can be devastating. Our feelings are better managed at such times if we have learned to trust God in everyday losses beginning at a very early age. What you teach your child as they let go of bottles, pacifiers, and security blankets, or how to accept the loss of broken toys and moving friends will make a difference in how your child faces the bigger losses that come through death, tragedy, and disappointments. Too many times as parents and teachers we miss the incredible opportunities…
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Grieving- Throwing a Life Line in the Sea of Emotions
When Your Heart Feels Like Winter & Your Tears are Frozen Grief is unpleasant. It is a process of emotions that we each must pass through in order for our hearts to heal from a loss we’ve experienced. As an adult I have had to deal with grief in all shapes and sizes. My first big conflict with grief, though, came at the age of eleven. My mother died. Perhaps my words below will help you understand what I felt when I lost her. “It feels like the worst of winter has settled in your heart. It is not just the worst of any winter. It is like the worst winter…
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How Should We Handle Overwhelming Feelings?
What is the biblical perspective on how to handle overwhelming feelings? There are healthy and unhealthy ways to do that. The healthy way to deal with strong feelings starts with thinking wisely about feelings in general. Our pastor often says that feelings are real (we do feel them, often intensely), but they’re not reliable (they make terrible indicators of what is true). So we should acknowledge them, but not be led by them. Especially powerful, overwhelming feelings. Allowing yourself to be controlled by your feelings is unwise and immature. The flip side of that is our example of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. No one ever experienced the strength…
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