The Last Mile of Life
Everyone faces life and death crossroads. And everyone’s experiences differ. This year in particular has impacted many of us as we or a loved one walk the last mile of life. Today my emotions remain raw while this season of incredible loss for me and my family wears on. I don’t have facts and figures to try to make sense of it all. Instead, I’d like to share a few thoughts from my heart.
The Many Emotions of Miscarriage
October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. This post was written two years ago in honor of those precious little ones we grieve, including two of my own. “So, do you have any kids?” It’s an innocent question, a social norm about as common as the handshake. Yet for over two years, this question was one I dreaded anytime I would meet a new acquaintance or strike up a conversation with a stranger. How in the world should I answer? Well, I have two in heaven I never got to meet… and a longing so deep that just you asking about children almost knocks the breath out of…
Please, no more!
I thought this fall would usher in the return of normal work hours in offices and schools, eating in restaurants, and gathering with friends. But COVID-19. It feels like we’ve lost so much this year. How can we move forward into fall when we continue to grieve the loss of so many aspects of our used-to-be “normal” life?
Better Than Before
The past few week have changed us. No person, community, or country remains untouched. We’ve stayed inside our home day after day. We’ve grieved over loss—personally and corporately. We’ve feared for our livelihood and wondered how long we can make ends meet. Life won’t be the same following COVID-19. But as we slowly emerge from national and international shutdown, I want to leave better than before, lessons learned, life lived differently. Here are a few things I’m trying to take hold of in this season: Life’s fragility. If there’s anything COVID-19 has confronted and disbanded within us, it’s our sense of invincibility. As we stare at daily rising death…
Let My Tears Flow
***April 1 marked the third anniversary of my brother’s death. Soon after his death, my dear friend Karla asked me to share some of my experience with grief and the church as a guest blogger on her site for Bible.org. This month, I have chosen to repost that blog below. “Sister, I have cancer.” My stomach dropped. My body felt numb. My brain whirled with best and worst case scenarios. I wanted to vomit. I tried to be brave, as every fiber in my being hoped my thirty-eight year old brother was playing some kind of cruel joke. Who jokes about cancer, though? No one. The carcinoma that grew…
Missing My Crowd: A Palm Sunday Lament (but can we really choose trust?)
It’s just wrong to spend Palm Sunday and Easter at home. I wished I’d been on my way to church yesterday instead of listening to a sermon on line. I so missed seeing our kids waving palm branches. Singing praises and hosannas in a room full of voices blending so strongly that my own is submerged in a sea of praise. My morning began with a silent reading about a day of praise. Jesus riding in, gently, peaceably down the Mount of Olives through the Beautiful gate and the streets of Jerusalem. What was missing yesterday was the crowds. Can you imagine lining up behind Jesus 6 ft. apart? Walking…
Life After Death, Grieving a Sister’s Suicide
This week I am honored to feature the words and heart of a dear friend of mine who lost her beloved sister to suicide. Her pain is fresh, but her hope in the Lord is inspiring. Nina resides in Monticello, Georgia and is mom to three sweet children, a military wife, a medical professional, and a loving friend and sister. I know her prayer is that her words bring comfort and encouragement, especially to the brokenhearted and hopeless. Everyone loves a heroic ending. The masses pour into movie theaters to watch superheroes conquer the enemy and save the world at the brink of destruction. Our hearts soar when allied forces march in…
How to Stay Married While Navigating Infertility
“Fifty percent of our infertility patients end up getting a divorce,” the nurse explained, when I questioned what I thought was a peculiar portion of the hospital’s legal paperwork. At that moment I was surprised to hear the statistic. But with raised eyebrows and a let’s–just–get–on–with–it mentality, I circled the appropriate decision for which one of us would be given custody of our frozen specimens “should divorce occur” and I went on with my day. A few months later, however, as my husband and I struggled to overcome our intense grief over a double infertility loss, I remembered her words. I then understood perfectly well. Infertility, miscarriage, and loss can…
Worship While You Wait
Waiting is the hardest thing I am ever asked to do. If I am waiting for something good, then it is difficult because I am so excited and can hardly wait for the party or the present or the event to happen. If I am waiting for something bad it seems even harder. I don’t want it. Yet, I know it is coming so I just want it to happen already. How good are you at waiting? When it comes to children and waiting…well, if you are a parent, you know how draining that can be on everyone. In my last blog I talked about the importance of waiting…
Better to Have Loved & Lost?
Think about a time when you wholeheartedly loved someone and felt adored by them. As you think about that person––spouse, parent, boyfriend or girlfriend, sibling, child––how would you describe that love? What emotions or feelings come to mind? I think of: expectation, joy, excitement, purpose, belonging, peace, contentment, hope. As human beings, we cannot live healthy, abundant, prolonged lives without love. We are created to love. We long for love. We will do crazy things to show our love. But at some point in our lives, we will all lose love. What then? · A husband sits silently, mourning the end of 50 years with his beloved bride. · A…