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“Zoom”ing In on Community: What the Pandemic Reminds Us About Connection
“The physical presence of other Christians is a source of incomparable joy and strength to the believer.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer. This week I had my 657th Zoom call. Ok, slight exaggeration, but between work meetings, online church, family gatherings, and weekly bible study, my Apple screen time report has been off the charts. Zoom and other video teleconferencing mechanisms have become my near sole source of “direct” contact with the world outside my neighborhood. Though I’m grateful for the technology that allows me to see the faces of my colleagues, friends, and loved ones, I’ve found this sort of engagement to be helpful, but tiring. A space to connect, but a…
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Theology of Self-Care
Is self-care selfish or unspiritual? Some churches and Christian circles say “yes.” And while today’s popular self-care strategies may have a bent toward self-serving interests, a biblical perspective of self-care is holistic, worshipful, and others-centered. Self-Care Involves All Aspects of Ourselves God designed us as complex, whole persons (Ps. 139:13–16). We do not—like a computer or machine—consist of parts, but encompass spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and relational aspects in our intricate design. When we take care of ourselves, we can’t just target one aspect of ourselves. We need take a holistic approach to self-care. After my husband and I married, I moved from Lubbock to Dallas. In Lubbock, I…
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Keeping Grace at the Holiday Table
When my husband and I would visit my parents, we liked to take bets about how long it would before my Dad would bring up the subject of the driverless car. After all, he was a transportation engineer for more than 3 decades, so he couldn’t help himself. It was fun for us to exchange knowing glances when the conversation really picked up steam, and Dad never disappointed. Time with family can be so fun. It’s often predictable. I have highlighted a pleasant, recurring theme in my family, but I definitely have some recurring behavior that I unleash when I’m with my family that isn’t so sweet or benign. So…
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The Importance of Self Awareness
“Know yourself. Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” Ann Landers There are a number of skills that lead to success in life. Self awareness is one of them, although it is not often seen as a critical trait. However, understanding who we are, how we think, and how we operate is vital to knowing who we are and who God has called us to be. What exactly is self awareness? Self awareness has been defined as the ability to make an accurate assessment of your own personality, strengths and weaknesses. It is the conscious knowledge of one’s own character, emotions, desires, and motivations. The…
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How to Embrace Necessary Change
Seasons of life change, careers change, organizations change, and relationships and friendships change. Change is—as they say—inevitable. How do you deal with change? Do you embrace it, reluctantly (and stubbornly) submit to it, or run full-speed in the opposite direction of it? I’m a loyal person by default. Perhaps you are as well. I’m loyal to good people, good organizations, and good products. There’s nothing wrong with loyalty per se, except when that loyalty exceeds the season for which that allegiance is needed. Thus I find I struggle with change. Well-known author, leadership coach, and clinical psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud believes that if we do not embrace necessary change (i.e.…
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Leadership and Friendship—Are They Mutually Exclusive?
With whom can you be yourself—totally raw and without filters—without expectations? Someone recently asked me this question. Several names came to mind, but I realized my list was short. This person advised, “You need these types of people in your life, people who will listen to you without expectations or judgment, with whom you can climb down off the mentorship and ministry pedestal.” Regardless of the world in which you work or serve—corporate, construction, education, marketing, medical, ministry, research, restaurant, the arts, or the home—being a leader can make finding raw-and-without-filters friendships difficult. Why is that? First, leaders are visionaries. They lead the charge. They think outside the box.…
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Choosing the Best BFF
The best BFF is one who will help you pick a life time of good ones! “A person who has friends may be harmed by them, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24 (NET Bible) Many of the children grow up in the church only to leave it as adults. Those who are true believers will return but what set them up to leave in the first place. So much lost time in lives wasted on frivolous friendship with the world. Can it be prevented? I think so. God created us in His image and because of that great gift we have the need for…
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Authority! How is That Working for You?
God blesses His people with authority. But how well are we wielding it? One of my high school teachers was disciplining her children over a broken vase, not sure which one had broken it, she told them that God had been watching and knew which one of them had done it. The daughter told her mom that God hadn’t talked for a long time and she was counting on that to continue. What we think about authority makes a difference in our relationships. 1 Peter 2:12 says that we are being watched.Our actions often result in how others judge God. This is true, especially with children. Look at the human…
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Confessions of a Recovering People-Pleaser*
I hope I don’t step on anyone’s toes here. As a recovering people-pleaser, stepping on toes is something I tend to avoid like the plague. Growing up, I learned early on that popularity was easier to attain if you were, well, nice. The church seemed to reinforce the pursuit of bending over backwards for the needs of your fellow man: God first, others second, self third. Anytime I heard this popular mantra, I internally gave myself a high-five. I had that down pat! Well, maybe not the God first part. My own formula went something like this:
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3 Life Hacks That Will Revolutionize Your Relationships
Ever hear of “life hacks”? Little tips and tricks to make your life easier, like running a sticky note between your keyboard keys to collect crumbs and computer lint. Here are three life hacks that will act like relational lubricant. 1. “When you said/did X, I felt Y. Did you mean to communicate that?” Instead of assuming we know someone’s motives and thinking, we need to clarify that we understand what they intend. Sometimes things just come out wrong, not at all what is meant, and it’s easily misinterpreted. “When you gave me permission to take comp time after I worked all weekend, I sensed you were giving it begrudgingly…
