Sunday School Chronicles. Me: Okay! We’ve spent a good amount of time talking and Moses and the Israelites. Before we hit the Exodus, raise your hands and tell me the plagues. Student 1: Water turning to blood! Me: Yes! Student 2: Frogs! Student 3: Darkness! *we continue to recap* Me: God used these plagues to say, “Nah! What you’re not gonna do is enslave my people AND worship false gods! Let me hit you with these plagues so you’ll know I’m not the one to mess with!”Student 2: How’d God’s spirit know it was lamb’s blood?Student 3: God knows who your ex-boyfriend is! Of course He knows what lamb’s blood…

Sunday School Chronicles Me: Let’s be real, sin is fun!Student 1: No it’s not!Me: Didn’t you just get your phone taken away?Student 1: Oh yeah!Me: Exactly! I don’t want to hear any perfect Sunday school answers. Guess what? Everybody sins!Student 2: I don’t!Me: And the sins just keep coming! Yes you do! So John the Baptist is in jail for calling out Herod Antipas.Student 3: What’d he do?Me: Just married his sister in law. No big deal.Students: WHAT!?!?!?!Me: Of course it was a big deal! Look, when you’re enjoying sin, you’re not a fan of someone calling you out. Imagine being on your 5th snicker bar and someone tells you…

Sunday School Chronicles Me: Do y’all know what your parents expect of you?Kids: Yeah.Me: They want you to clean your room. Do your chores and stuff. The same goes for God and King Ahab. Ahab knew exactly what God expected of him and did the opposite. God said, “Don’t marry an ungodly chick.” Ahab was like, “Marry that ungodly chick Jezebel. Got it!” God said, “Don’t worship those fake gods.” Ahab said, “I hear you God. But my wife is into it so I’m gonna worship Baal and Asherah. We still good?”Kid 1: What????Me: Yes! So God said, “Ok! No rain for you!” Cut to a long time later. The…

Sunday School Chronicles Me: Do y’all like chillaxing on Saturday mornings? Kids: Yes! No. I have sports. If I don’t have a game! Me: Let’s say it’s just a regular Saturday with zero responsibilities. You’re in your jammie jams. Kid 1: Jammie jams? Me: You heard me. Jammie jams. You’re Netflixing, Fortnite-ing, napping and any other -ing you can think of. The house is nice and messy. And then boom! Someone rings the bell messing up your vibe! Students: Yeah! That’s so annoying! Me: They didn’t call first or anything! If they would’ve called or texted then you could’ve… Students: Gotten snacks! I could’ve cleaned! Gotten dressed! Me: Exactly! That’s…

Sunday School Chronicles Me: Do y’all have a friend group? Kids: Yes! Me: Ok! And out of that friend group do you have a couple you’re really close to? Kid 1: Like family? Me: Yes. You’re so close you’re like family. Kids: Yeah. I have 2. I have 3! Me: So Jesus has 3 besties. Peter, James, and John have been His A-1s since Day 1. He takes them to the top of a mountain to chill. Peter, James, and John fall asleep cause feeding 5,000+ people will wear you out. You ever have it when you’re napping and you wake up earlier than you want? Kids: Yeah. Me: You’re…

Sunday School Chronicles Me: Abraham had an interesting life. One day, God came to him and was like, “Take your wife, all your stuff, and head out. I’m not telling you where. Just move you two feet and we’ll link up on the destination later.” Abraham said, “Bet.” Is that crazy? Kids: Yeah! Me: I know! Dude went to his family like, I’m out! ✌🏾” His family was like, “Where?” Abraham said, “No idea!” Fam said, “Who told you to go?” Abraham was like, “This dude named ‘God.” His fam was like, “Which one??? We follow a bunch.” Abraham said, “He’s new-ish. And you can’t see Him and He’s only…